Ben Shapiro Is Weirdly Obsessed With The Bathroom Habits Of Children

Maybe he needs to seek professional help to work out why, exactly, he wastes so much time thinking about kids and pee-pee.

by Bob Cesca

WASHINGTON, DC – Ben Shapiro, a podcaster who sounds like his show is permanently playing at 1.5x speed even though it’s not, has been regarded as a member of the “intellectual dark web.” Devised by Bari Weiss from The New York Times several years ago, it’s a catch-all title for a collective of weirdos who speak in complete sentences, yet say horrible things.

Yes, Shapiro talks in complete sentences, which is maybe the best thing anyone can say about him. His lightspeed, staccato delivery makes him sound smart to dummies who associate that sort of thing with smartness. Fast-talking and intellect aren’t the same thing, especially when we realize that so many people who abuse Adderall, cocaine, meth, or other stimulants can’t help but to talk at ludicrous speed.