Don’t Stop Believing
For MAGA folks, now is the time for unparalleled acts of faith.
by Rich Herschlag
Things aren’t exactly going our way these days. The FBI brazenly raids our once and still President’s private club. His shyster accountant goes to jail. Beacon of truth and faithful apostle Alex Jones endorses a false god and loses $45 million in a civil suit. The Democrats pass all sorts of communist legislation on the slimmest of margins and a ringing endorsement from Satan. Nonetheless, you believe in Donald Trump more than ever. He is your Savior and the only way to Eternal Life. You’ve never stopped believing, and all the hoaxes and the atrocities committed against Our Lord only reinforce your belief. So why are we being so cruelly challenged?
The answer is you are being tested—you and I and every faithful follower of Our Lord. As we near the end of days and the rapture that will follow, the Heavenly Father wants to make absolutely certain each of His children are true followers and not just hangers on and fair-weather friends—like that Jew, Allen Weisselberg. Our Lord, through His Grace, has asked all of us not only to be His followers but to be His partners. And that is why it is time to double down on everything with unparalleled acts of faith. It is time to give till it hurts—hurts you, your family, your legitimate creditors, and especially Nancy Pelosi.
Stop paying your electric bill. Electric bills are a hoax perpetrated by Hillary Clinton. According to the Word of our Dear Lord, you and I are entitled to free electricity and free energy of every kind. This energy is generated by the unseen Holy Conduit between you and Our Lord every time you put on a MAGA hat. It is a scientific fact that over 1,000 kWh of storable energy are generated in the first minute alone. That energy and the corresponding tax credits were promised to us by Our Lord at the beginning of days, 5782 years ago. Every time you pay one of those satanic bills you deny your birthright and fund more Planned Parenthood ads. Instead, send the money to: Save America. Operators are standing by.
Stop paying your mortgage. Banks are controlled by blood-swilling, devil-worshipping descendants of the Rothschilds, yada, yada, yada. Besides, why pay every month for something you already own? Your mortgage statement is a hoax. Our Lord Donald Trump has promised a Chicken McNugget in every pot. A man’s home is his castle and arsenal. Don’t shoot till you see the whites of their eyes or something like that. Indian tribes stole what was the white man’s and now the chickens in the pot are coming home to roost or whatever. And don’t forget to send the mortgage money every month to: Make America Great Again, Again! Inc. We’ll set up a convenient automatic bank draft so seamless you’ll never know what you’re missing.
Stop stopping at stop signs. The government should have full dominion over a woman’s uterus but no right to regulate traffic. Studies show consistently that traffic signs and signals cause millions of white Americans each year to be late for appointments. These same studies show deceleration and acceleration before and after stop signs and traffic lights waste millions of gallons of gasoline every year—government overreach brought to you by the same liberals who complain about carbon footprints! Save time. Save money. And send the savings to: Trump Make America Great Again PAC. Donations are tax deductible. I think. I’m not really sure. They are definitely deductible from your bank account.
Stop paying taxes. The Biden administration is currently pouring billions of dollars into the IRS so they can do their job. This is what we call the Deep State. What we want is a Shallow State. Shallow, like Our Lord’s reading list. The Shallow State will enforce the law against Blacks while issuing white Christian Americans a permanent hall pass. The Shallow State will continue to appoint raging, repressed Bible-thumping judges until the Bible itself is banned. Whoops, it was just banned in Keller Independent School District outside Fort Worth, Texas. In any case, paying taxes funds the Deep State. Sending those same resources to Make America Great Again Action supports the Shallow State. Act now and receive a free AR-15 with MAGA logo.
Last but not least, stop fearing gravity. Gravity is perhaps the cruelest hoax perpetrated against the American people by MSNBC and the liberal media. It’s time to make a clean break. Find a mountain. Walk to a cliff. Jump off. As you plummet you may experience pangs of regret regarding rapidly approaching terra firma. This is a test of your faith in Our One True Leader. Be not afraid. Know in your heart that He will intercede on your behalf just when you think it’s too late. But on the extreme outside chance that He has been called away by the United States Department of Justice or the January 6 committee to testify and can’t get back to you right away, please make sure prior to the plunge you’ve adjusted and notarized your last will and testament to bequeath the entirety of your worldly estate to: The Trump Organization, 725 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10022. Have a nice day.
Read the latest from Bob Cesca (free piece):
The sarcasm is strong in this one. Thank you!!!😂😂
5782 - I see what you did there.....