F**king Mondays: We Replaced Bob Cesca With An AI Bot
Sorry Bob!
by Ben Cohen
If you’re up to date on the latest trends in tech and innovation, you might be convinced that almost all our jobs are doomed to be replace by AI (Artificial Intelligence) and robots.
I recently received a call from a friend of mine using AI to build his technology company who was genuinely concerned about the future of The Banter. “You could get articles that sound just like you, are better written, have no mistakes, and can be produced in a couple of seconds,” he told me.
I said I wasn’t particularly worried about the new technology because our readers don’t subscribe to The Banter for AP style pieces regurgitating news, but to hear our unique take on the issues of the day. But it did get me thinking. How good is AI, and could it really replace anything we do here at The Banter?
I decided to run an experiment and leave it to AI to do the major lifting for our “F**king Mondays” column. The results were…well….quite interesting to say the least.
In bold are the instructions I gave ChatGPT, and the answers in italics:
AI please write a brief bullet point article on the most relevant news articles from the past 3 days.
Certainly, here are some of the most relevant news articles from the past 3 days:
February 11, 2023:
Scientists report success in creating the world's first living robots made entirely of stem cells
Israel's fourth COVID-19 vaccine dose offers increased protection against new variants
Google pledges to invest $1 billion in news industry over next three years
February 12, 2023:
Facebook announces new feature allowing users to pay for access to exclusive content from creators
U.S. House of Representatives passes legislation aimed at preventing future pandemics
NASA's Perseverance rover successfully collects rock samples from the surface of Mars
February 13, 2023:
Amazon workers in Alabama vote against forming a union in closely watched election
Australia's parliament passes new media bargaining code requiring tech companies to pay for news content
China's Chang'e 6 lunar mission set to launch in 2024 with goal of returning samples from the moon's south pole
Please note that this is not an exhaustive list and that there may be other important news stories from the past 3 days.
AI please write a funny review of the movie "Everything Everywhere All at Once".
Everything Everywhere All at Once" is like a wild acid trip through the multiverse, with Michelle Yeoh as your trusty guide. It's a film that defies conventional storytelling and logic, but who needs those when you can have wacky cosmic adventures, a badass grandma kicking butt, and a never-ending supply of doppelgangers? You'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll question your sanity - but most of all, you'll have a great time. Just be sure to buckle up and hold on tight, because this movie will take you places you never thought possible!
AI your movie review lacks authenticity and isn’t funny. Please rewrite for a highly intelligent/discerning audience.
My apologies for falling short on your expectations in my previous attempt. Here's my second attempt at a review for "Everything Everywhere All at Once" aimed at a highly intelligent and discerning audience:
"Everything Everywhere All at Once" is a bold and ambitious exploration of the multiverse, where the complexities of the cosmos are rendered through visually stunning cinematography and intricate narrative. The film's unconventional structure challenges the traditional notions of storytelling, as it traverses through an array of parallel worlds, each with its unique set of characters and conflicts. With Michelle Yeoh's incredible performance at the helm, the film combines humor, action, and philosophy to create a rare cinematic experience that is both thought-provoking and entertaining. However, its intricate plot and themes may not be suitable for everyone, as it requires a significant investment of attention and reflection. Overall, "Everything Everywhere All at Once" is a daring and inventive piece of cinema that will satisfy those seeking an intelligent and unconventional cinematic experience."
AI can you write something in the voice of Banter contributor Bob Cesca?
Sure, I'll give it a shot! Here's something in the voice of Banter contributor Bob Cesca:
"Hey folks, Bob Cesca here. You know, sometimes it feels like we're living in a bizarro world where up is down, left is right, and logic has taken a permanent vacation. But even in these strange times, one thing remains constant: the need for some good old-fashioned snark. So let's talk about the latest political developments, shall we? The way I see it, if you're not angry, you're not paying attention. And boy, there's a lot to be angry about. From the never-ending drama of the Trump administration to the ridiculous antics of Congress, it's a veritable smorgasbord of stupidity out there. But hey, at least we can still make fun of it, right? So let's put on our sarcasm hats, grab a drink, and get to bantering. Because as the old saying goes, if you don't laugh, you'll cry. And frankly, I'm all laughed out. Let's do this thing."
AI can you summarize why our readers need to listen to the latest episode of The Banter Roundtable Podcast, and why they absolutely should get a Banter Membership?
Sure, I'd be happy to summarize why readers should listen to the latest episode of The Banter Roundtable Podcast and why they should get a Banter Membership.
Listeners should tune in to the latest episode of The Banter Roundtable Podcast because it offers a unique and engaging perspective on current events and culture. The Banter team of experts and commentators provides insightful and nuanced analysis, coupled with an irreverent and entertaining banter that makes for a compelling and enjoyable listening experience.
Additionally, readers should absolutely consider getting a Banter Membership because it provides exclusive access to additional Banter content, including the Banter Newsletter and the members-only area of the website. The membership offers a deeper dive into the stories that matter, with commentary, analysis, and reporting that can't be found anywhere else. Plus, members receive early access to the latest podcasts, as well as the opportunity to interact directly with the Banter team through Q&A sessions and other special events.
In short, The Banter Roundtable Podcast and Banter Membership offer a one-two punch of intelligent, entertaining content that is a must for anyone looking to stay informed and engaged in today's fast-paced world.
So what do I think of ChatGPT’s contribution to this week’s edition of the “F**king Mondays” column? To be honest, it’s pretty f**king scary. The bot’s ability to parse meaning from my questions, mine specific content from the internet and organize a structured, coherent response really is mind blowing. Am I worried that AI will one day start a rival Banter Newsletter, create artificial versions of myself, Bob, Justin, and our other contributors? No. And here’s why.
No matter how advanced this technology gets, it isn’t human and can’t replace the unique minds and writing style of our contributors. The movie review was decent but clearly based on widely available promotional ad copy. The AI version of Bob Cesca does read like Bob Cesca, but there’s something a little…empty about it. It’s Bob, but a synthetic, formulaic simulation of him. The pitch to become a Banter Member was also pretty good and not noticeably artificial, but then the AI bot just mined previous articles to get all the info it needed.
AI is very cool and could help journalists quickly compile and organize complex data for some stories, but it won’t be replacing talented writers and creators. I think it might replace some technical writing jobs in a number of industries, but you’d still need a human to double check the work before publishing.
AI will probably change the world in many ways as it improves, but I can’t help but think that it’s really just a fancier version of Google search. Ultimately, AI can do incredible things but it has to be programmed and prompted by a human to do it. As British computer scientist and AI innovator Stuart Russell said, "The thing about machines is that they are both incredibly stupid and incredibly fast. So they can do amazing things, but they have no idea what they are doing".
One day the machines may become self aware. Then we really are in trouble. But ChatGPT is a long, long way from that. So for now you’ll be reading articles generated by humans — at least on The Banter (and you can listen to us on The Banter Roundtable Podcast too!).
Until next week!
Ben
Our non-bot Members pitch: Get 60% off a Banter Membership and get access to The Emergency Meeting podcast, our Members Only articles, locked archive, and member chat threads! Also, read and listen to real humans!
Now out on The Banter:
Listen to the latest episode of The Banter Roundtable Podcast:
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For Banter Members:
I'm here for the AI Chez Pazienza, as long as his gf and kid get the royalties.