It's Over, Donnieboy

It's time to begin your long, laughable exit dance

by Rich Herschlag

It's over, Donnieboy. It's over. Time to begin your long, laughable exit dance. Time to start going after your own campaign staff and cabinet. Time to choke Stephen Miller in the West Wing. Time to summon the dark spirit of Roy Cohn who is, frankly, completely indifferent and kind of preoccupied burning in hell.

Time to show your base what you think of them, which is less than nothing, even though they literally died trying to deliver Wisconsin. Time to sue everyone and everything, as if you have the resources. Time to make sure Bolsonaro is still holding that condo for you in Rio. Time to cut Rudy loose once and for all.

Time to tweet self-pitying crap all night and chow down on Big Macs. Because some things never die. Time to show your true contempt for America, Americans, and everything millions of brave soldiers died for. Time to embarrass yourself, your party, your country, your planet, and worst of all, our hometown, Queens.

Time to figure out whom you can fire for sport versus whom you might need in the White House during your pathetic waning days. Time to call Vlad and find out if he will let you live to see 2022. Time to get the lowdown on self-pardons, though Bill Barr is busy right now hiring lawyers of his own. Time to have Letitia James whacked.

Time to cut Jared out of your will. Time for Jared to cut you out of his. Time to squeal like a stuck pig. You still have ten weeks to show the world what it means to have no class, no soul, no regard for other human beings, and no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Time to rip off any scab you can find and grab still more attention. Time to sink to the occasion. Time to loathe Joe Biden for the unforgivable sin of being a mensch.

Time to challenge Melania's prenup. Time to pull the reserve cash pile out of the Cayman Islands. Time to cough on people. Time to hold more rallies. Maybe not.

Time for GOP senators to start jumping ship. One here, one there, then the floodgates open. They hate you, you hate them, and now all the dirty laundry can be aired. Time to cry yourself to sleep and tell yourself you’re misunderstood. But in reality, you are perfectly understood.

Time to burn down the house and take everyone with you. Time to sacrifice more lives by encouraging violence. Time to pat yourself on the back because finally, after all these years, you’ve actually earned something.

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