Redactus Interruptus

Due to the numerous redactions, reading the Mueller report feels more like prosecutorial coitus interruptus.

by Rich Herschlag
In an act of subversion so profound it has forced me to shed my few remaining rightwing Facebook friends, I have been reading the Mueller report word for word, at least where possible. This is the forbidden fruit of our age, and like real porn it can be downloaded for free.

But as we’ve learned using any phone, laptop, or PC, nothing is really free. Due to the numerous redactions, reading the Mueller report feels more like prosecutorial coitus interruptus. For me it’s been like watching Scarface without the F-word, Seinfeld without the sarcasm, or a Stephen Curry highlight reel without the three-pointers.

In the great tradition of censor bars, the Mueller report black matter always seems to come when you least want it. You may be old enough to drink, screw, fight for your country, or get a promotional AARP tote bag, but you can still feel the heavy hand of your parents blocking the racy cable channels. Reading up to a key redaction is like following a trail of blood bac…