F**king Mondays: Jesus Was A Sissy Liberal, Trump's Legal Idiocy, Musk The Doberman

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“Don’t feed the poor, shoot them”

Welcome to another edition of “F**king Mondays,” your weekly column aimed at relieving boredom on your least productive day of the week!

The Right is irretrievably lost

My first experience of American evangelical Christianity was in Corvallis, Oregon on a year abroad program in 2003. A large portion of the students at Oregon State were religious fundamentalists from rural towns, and I vividly remember learning in a freshman politics class that at least 50% of students didn’t believe in the theory of evolution.

I made many friends on my year abroad and came to understand that much of the fundamentalism and accompanying bigotry was a result of the propaganda they had been exposed to. They weren’t bad people for believing that Darwinian evolution was a liberal plot to kill God, or that blowing up Iraqis was “part of God’s plan.” They were the products of a combination of a poor public eduction, years of Fox News, right wing radio, and the evangelical preaching at their local mega churches.

Most of my friends changed dramatically in the years after college — one came out as gay, and several became liberal political activists. I have tried to keep my college experience in mind when sparring with right wing friends, knowing that it is possible for them to step outside of the Fox News bubble and see the world differently. I was able to maintain friendships with John McCain and Mitt Romney voting Republicans, despite our vehement disagreements over policy.

In 2015/16, my tolerance for the right ended abruptly when Donald Trump came on the scene. I lost pretty much every Republican friend I had, knowing they were allying themselves with something far, far more sinister than McCain/Romney Republicanism. I had always hoped that the Right would become less extreme over time, particularly post 9/11 where Americans were being forced to learn about the world outside of the US. I also believed the election of Barack Obama was a sign of this. But the ensuing years caused me to radically rethink my position. The Right became more extreme, more racist, and more detached from reality in reaction to the election of a black man — so much so that it elected a fascist.

In truth, I should have seen this coming. I went to church with friends while in Oregon, and spent time with their families. I heard the rhetoric of their pastors, and talked to them at length about Muslims, abortion rights, and the plight of African Americans. I don’t believe their intentions were bad, but the level of indoctrination was unlike anything I’ve even seen before. Their version of Christianity had nothing to do with Jesus Christ, or any of his teachings. Their churches weren’t spreading the gospel of a political and spiritual revolutionary — they were spreading a uniquely American kind of religious fundamentalism based on fear, patriarchy, and power. In this version of Christianity, you could bomb Iraqis, kick people off of welfare, and tell black people they should get over slavery. It apparently didn’t take much for them to go all in on a deranged conman whose sole purpose was to create as much hate and division in society as possible.

Unsurprisingly, things are now much, much worse in America’s evangelical churches — to the point where evangelical Christians no long bother pretending they follow the teachings of Christ. Reports The New Republic:

The editor in chief of Christianity Today is warning that evangelical Christianity is moving too far to the right, to the point that even Jesus’s teachings are considered “weak” now.

Russell Moore resigned from the Southern Baptist Convention in 2021, after years of being at odds with other evangelical leaders. Specifically, Moore openly criticized Donald Trump, whom many evangelical Christians embraced. Moore also criticized the Southern Baptist Convention’s response to a sexual abuse crisis and increasing tolerance for white nationalism in the community.

Now he thinks his religion is in crisis.

Moore told NPR in an interview released Tuesday that multiple pastors had told him they would quote the Sermon on the Mount, specifically the part that says to “turn the other cheek,” when preaching. Someone would come up after the service and ask, “Where did you get those liberal talking points?”

“What was alarming to me is that in most of these scenarios, when the pastor would say, ‘I’m literally quoting Jesus Christ,’ the response would not be, ‘I apologize.’ The response would be, ‘Yes, but that doesn’t work anymore. That’s weak,’” Moore said. “When we get to the point where the teachings of Jesus himself are seen as subversive to us, then we’re in a crisis.”

I would argue that the crisis began several decades ago, and that American Christianity is now in a full blown fascist death spiral. You can manage a crisis, and take steps to reverse the damage. But we are now dealing with something far, far more dangerous.

Trump shoots himself in the foot. Again.

Legal professors will use Donald Trump in years to come as a textbook example of what not do to when faced with serious legal charges and an impending court case. For reasons best known to himself, Trump went on social media to put himself in more legal jeopardy, warning former Georgia lieutenant governor Geoff Duncan not to testifying before the Fulton County grand jury in the state's 2020 election probe. Via Axios:

"I am reading reports that failed former Lt. Governor of Georgia, Jeff Duncan, will be testifying before the Fulton County Grand Jury," Trump wrote on his Truth Social account on Monday.

"He shouldn't. I barely know him but he was, right from the beginning of this Witch Hunt, a nasty disaster for those looking into the Election Fraud that took place in Georgia."

Duncan, who criticized Trump's false election fraud claims in 2020, said Saturday that he had been told to appear Tuesday before the Fulton County grand jury.

This is fairly clear evidence that Trump is extremely concerned about the indictment in Georgia (you also don’t ask someone not to testify if you’re innocent). From a legal point of view, this may well constitute witness tampering,

As usual, Trump makes things infinitely worse for Trump.

Musk backs out of Zuckerberg fight?

How to make sure you lose respect from Alt Right Twitter in one easy move:

Challenge the biggest nerd in history to a cage fight, then back out when you realize he is up for it:

As someone who covered combat sports for a living for several years, I can assure the public they won’t be missing much. Zuckerberg is 5ft7 and weighs around 150lbs. Musk is 6ft2, 52 years old, and weighs at least 240lbs. With neither having any real fighting experience, the bout would have ended up on the floor with Musk not having the energy or youth to keep up with his 39 year old foe, and Zuckerberg not having the size or strength to do any real damage to Musk. Think speedy chihuahua vs old and disabled doberman:

See you next week!

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