Stop the Hate
How a horrific reader comment reminded me what is at stake on November 5th.
by Ben Cohen
In my F**king Monday column on Monday I wrote a note to readers apologizing for it coming so late. It had spent the previous night in urgent care with my six year old who was diagnosed with pneumonia. We had to go back to urgent care the following night because the poor thing couldn’t stomach the amoxicillin he was prescribed. After several hours of waiting around, lengthy discussion with a very unhelpful doctor, and lots of pushing from me to find a solution, we figured out he could take it in pill form.
As a veteran of urgent care (you can read about that here), I took my laptop along so I could get some work done. While my son watched Minecraft videos on my phone, I received a notification for a comment on my Monday column. I check comments regularly and try to respond if I have time, so I clicked on the article and saw this:
I’m used to receiving horrendous comments from trolls, the occasional death threat, and antisemitic hate mail, but this was by far the worst thing anyone has ever directed at me. It probably had something to do with the timing of it, but I had a physical reaction to the comment and closed my laptop in revulsion. After a couple of minutes I calmed down and chatted to my little one about Minecraft to take my mind off it. After a lengthy lecture on the best characters in Minecraft, I was able to put the comment in better perspective and not let it bother me.
Empathy over hate
Over the years I’ve found it useful to try to find sympathy for people directing hate and vitriol at me. My guess is the person who wrote the comment is a lonely, angry young man with not a lot going for him. To direct that kind of repulsive hate means he can’t have received much love as a child. Maybe he was bullied in school, treated badly by his parents, and suffers from quite serious mental illness. No one from a stable background and a caring family would write something like that.
The comment did get me thinking however. People like that unfortunately make up a large sector of the Trump fan base, and there is a good reason for it. The MAGA movement preys on vulnerable young men and gives them permission to express their hatred publicly. Donald Trump’s dark, violent rhetoric has made this kind of venom not just acceptable, but laudable. Trump has urged his supporters to physically attack liberals, called his political opponents “vermin”, and said that immigration is "poisoning the blood" of America. He has referred to women as “fat pigs”, “dogs”, and “slobs”, called war veterans “losers”, and referred to countries he doesn’t like as “shit holes”.
Fascism in disguise
We have seen this kind of rhetoric throughout history and it always ends up in violence. Fascistic movements are built on the hatred of other, and at some point that hatred is unleashed into the real world. The fascist movements in Europe during the 1930’s were based on demonizing Jews, minorities, and “Bolsheviks” (in Germany it was “Jewish Bolshevism”). Trump’s ideology is no different. It is at its core a white nationalist movement aimed at fanning the flames of racial hatred and dividing the country into “real Americans” and impure immigrants. While Republicans have done their best to disguise the true nature of the MAGA cult, Trump often unintentionally reveals it. Immigrants “are poisoning the blood” of America. Minnesota, a state settled mostly by Scandinavian immigrants, is filled with people with “good genes”. ‘The Jews’ will be responsible if he loses in November.
Students of history understand what is going on, but it is difficult for the average person without a solid education to grasp. That is why Trump dramatically outperforms his Democratic opponents with uneducated white voters — and particularly with men. He understands their grievances, their anger, and their desire to blame others for their problems. Trump’s rhetoric is tailored specifically to enrage them, to motivate them to express their hatred and create a toxic climate of fear and resentment.
It is this climate that Trump works best in — the chaos, the uncertainty, and the simmering violence that is always ready to erupt.
The choice ahead
Kamala Harris and the Democrats are not perfect, but they are not fascists, and they don’t use fear and hate to motivate their voters. Traditional conservatives and independents who do not agree with Harris’s policies see this, and many will be voting for her in November. They understand the threat Trump’s hateful, demagogic, nativist politics presents to democracy and they are mobilizing to beat it.
The horrific comment I received was not just a reminder of what is at stake in November, but how best to respond to the hate Trump has normalized. I don’t believe hate can be beaten with more hate, but I do believe it must be beaten — but that is only possible when we act on our better instincts and ignore our worst.
On November 5th, Americans get a chance to vote for a candidate who won’t use fear to divide us, who normalizes empathy and shows respect for others. It is a chance to end the dark chapter of Trumpism and prove that America is a decent country worth fighting for.
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Ben, so sorry to read about this. It was a despicable comment and symptomatic of the hatred Trump inspires. Please know the vast majority of your readers are with you. Hope your son makes a speedy recovery.
It’s reprehensible that anyone would go that low about an innocent sick child. You can’t learn empathy for others when your self-hatred is your primary problem. I hate trump for unleashing this ugliness on an undeserving nation!