Word to the Base: Trump Thinks You’re Suckers, Too
Though I really, really hate to admit it, this one time he’s right.
|Sep 9, 2020||8|
by Rich Herschlag
The non-revelation that Donald Trump has zero respect for the military and its deeply rooted ethos is about as shocking as the contention that he’s cheated on his wives. Really? You’re kidding me. Let’s spend the rest of the week parsing his fourth grade sentences and dissecting video of his disparaging remarks about John McCain. And while we’re at it, let’s see if we can prove O.J. Simpson has an anger management problem.
Donald J. Trump basically thinks everyone who is not Donald J. Trump or tightly woven into his gene pool is a sucker. If you weren’t born rich, didn’t steal your fortune, or you like to play by the rules, there might as well be a big “S” tattooed on your forehead. But Trump reserves his hugest eye-roll for the people on whose backs he rode into the White House and by way of whose gullibility and cult-like worship he remains there till this sorry day. Donald J. Trump thinks you’re a sucker.
You’re a sucker for believing your wages were suppressed by Black and brown people rather than by technology and de-unionization. For believing 20th century skills were sufficient for 21st century jobs. For gobbling up your roughly six percent share of the 2017 tax cut like it was Thanksgiving and Christmas combined. For thinking you could sell all your corn and soybeans to Americans.
You’re a sucker for believing the arsenic, mercury, and cyanide being released into open waterways would never find its way into your tap water. For living in low-lying areas and cheering our exit from the Paris Agreement. For thinking you’re getting 5G any day now. For not being able to discern a scumbag.
You’re a sucker for having a grand total of $343 in your savings account and being grateful to the president for the best economy ever. For preferring a job at $11 per hour stacking boxes to a job at $40 per hour pouring concrete for the foundation of wind turbines. For sending $75 to the Trump campaign when your 12-year-old son doesn’t have the proper tools for remote learning. For doing and knowing nothing as your Social Security is gradually dismantled. For acquiring your philosophy of life from Duck Dynasty.
You’re a sucker for enduring throbbing three-day migraines from listening to Mark Levin. For surrendering your “socialist” government subsidized healthcare plan in favor of a leftover bottle of Oxycontin and a shot of Jim Beam. For contracting COVID-19 at a crowded backyard barbecue. For going maskless to Sturgis. For drinking bleach.
You’re a sucker for buying into the notion that an accused serial rapist is actively ridding the world of pedophiles. For accepting a sycophantic AG’s fictional summary of an investigation that showed clear coordination between the future president of the United Sates and the Kremlin. For happily handing your electoral power over to Vladimir Putin. For the Kellyanne Conway tattoo on your right ass cheek.
You’re a sucker for accepting the notion that a “caravan” of lawless, pillaging refugees was streaming across Mexico to cross the border and violate your daughters. For believing people of color are invading suburban areas that are in reality more afraid of people like you. For putting yourself in harm’s way open carrying at Black Lives Matter protests. For rooting against the survival of the only post office within 20 miles of your trailer.
You’re a sucker for going to church and praying for Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s demise. For hanging your picture of Donald J. Trump next to your picture of Jesus Christ on the wall above the mantelpiece. For hanging the Trump University diploma right next to it. For making death threats against Michael Cohen, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Christine Blasey Ford, Alexander Vindman, Fiona Hill, Marie Yovanovitch and anyone else the president can’t handle on his own like a man. For believing Kayleigh McEnany is an actual person.
For all these reasons and many more, Donald Trump thinks you’re a sucker. And though I really, really hate to admit it, this one time he’s right.
Get our full election coverage with a Banter Membership. Banter Members get access to all premium articles and can unlock our archive. Try it free for 60 days:
Read the latest for Banter Members:
This is going to get very dark, very quickly, says Ben Cohen
Gamergate ruined video games for decent people. Here's how I reclaimed my inner geek without giving in to the hate, says Justin Rosario